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How To Not Eat Your Feelings And Stop The Urge To Eat In 2 Simple-But-Tough Steps

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Last updated on April 28, 2020

“How To Not Eat Your Feelings?”

To stop being an emotional eater you must do 2 things.

These 2 things are the very core solution to solving emotional eating.

Most times people try to solve emotional eating using a ‘bandaid’ solution.

A bandaid solution could be willpower. Willpower works for a limited period of time. For a short amount of time you can resist temptation. But then you give in.

The first step to end emotional eating is to identify what emotional need you need!

In this video, I go through Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication book to give examples of your emotional needs. Your emotional needs include:

  • safety
  • play
  • autonomy
  • spirituality
  • respect

Not getting these needs met will mean you will feel pain!!!!

So if you are emotionally eating, this means you are NOT getting an emotional need met.

If you had the emotional need, you wouldn’t emotionally eat.

(I’m oversimplifying here, but the basic point is true)

How To Not Eat Your Feelings

Now for the 1st step you have to identify the pain, or the emotional need.

I share a story of how I didn’t know my emotional pain of loneliness.

So I would do all these things to ‘solve’ the pain like smoking weed.

Yet this never solved my problem …

Because I never did step 1!!!!

Step 1 is identify emotional need – and I never did that!!!!

The second step is meeting that emotional need.

This is different than learning coping skills.

Coping skills decrease the pain, but they do not solve the need.

Sometimes, coping skills do solve the need, in exceptions. If you have a need for creative expression (which is a valid human need) then journaling or painting could solve that need and reduce the pain.

However, most frequently, people need love and belonging. They also need a feeling of emotional safety and respect.

These needs you must get fulfilled in relationships (including your relationship to yourself).

If you try to fill these needs using a coping skill (like meditation or journaling), you might feel less pain but you won’t solve the pain!!

The source of the pain will still be there because you didn’t get the need met in your relationships.

This is ONLY way to solve emotional eating.

First, identify the emotional need.
Second, meet the emotional need.

If you want another excellent video on this topic, see here:

Santa Clara Eating Disorder Treatment – How to stop binge eating

As I’m an eating disorder expert in Santa Clara, Bay Area, check out this other post of mine here:

Emotional Eating

Lastly, are you looking for help in this area of life? Book a complimentary session with me here:

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