- by Jared
I just hosted a meetup where I answered the very common question – why am I craving sweets?
And this video is my unfiltered response right after the workshop ended.
For another video on “How To Stop Craving Food When Not Hungry By Understanding And Curing Emotional Food Deprivation” just click here – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCsbIvfhMjE
Here’s why you are craving sweets.
- You have not eaten enough
- You have subconscious beliefs you learned in childhood and through participating in diet rituals that make you think ‘sweets are bad’ and that you are a bad person (or at least undisciplined and lacking willpower) whenever you eat sweets.
You try to avoid sweets because of these beliefs. Yet in trying to avoid these sweets, you in effect do the opposite. You increase the perceived value of sweets and therefore crave them.
Let’s dive into this pattern in more detail.
Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have?
Of course you have. It’s the principle of scarcity. I’m sure your familiar with it.
Well … scarcity applies to food as well.
Whenever you prevent yourself from having a food, you are creating an artificial scarcity.
This artificial scarcity gets interpreted by your brain and gut that this food is valuable!
So if you are not letting yourself have sweets, then your brain and gut will conclude that sweets must be valuable.
I know, it sounds backward, but it’s totally true.
By not having sweets you are increasing your drive for sweets.
I know that Jared! But if I eat sweets then I’ll gain weight and I’ll be unhealthy. Right? What do you have to say about that?
Great question I’m glad you asked 🙂
In the meetup this question came up several times in various forms …
The reason this question came up more than once is because the solution is radical …
You have to give yourself Full Emotional Permission To Eat Sweets.
Yep, you heard me right.
Here’s what happens when you give yourself full emotional permission to eat sweets.
First of all you stop berating yourself whenever you eat sweets.
You stop judging yourself.
You stop thinking that every time you eat a sweet you have failed somehow.
And as you let go of judgment … what do you think happens?
Well, if I let myself eat whatever I want without judging … then I would gain weight! Then I would eat unhealthy! Then I would never stop eating!
These are the common fears.
This is what you have been told your entire life around food. That you have to not eat these foods.
And this NOT eating foods paradoxically makes these foods be perceived as more valuable and therefore drives your cravings for them.
But the beautiful thing is … these fears are not grounded.
These fears … eat unhealthy … won’t stop eating … gain weight … they sound rational but that’s not the reality of what actually happens when you eat these foods.
The reality is that you get bored a lot quicker than you might think.
The reality is that once you give yourself permission to eat these foods, you are also giving yourself permission to stop eating these foods.
The reality is that by giving yourself permission to enjoy these foods, you become open to the textures and flavors … which aren’t nearly so good as you imagined.
The reality is that if you give yourself permission to eat these foods and don’t disconnect from the eating experience … or judge yourself after … but instead stay connected to your body after eating …
Is that you discover these foods don’t make you feel good.
And what I talk about in this video is about tuning into pain.
If you can tune into pain and not disconnect, then you will eat the food …
And see that the food is not solving your pain.
Normally you disconnect when you eat sweets.
The enlightenment is to stay conscious during eating these.
You will feel pain. Lots of pain.
But this pain can teach you. You can learn from this pain.
You will have to practice self care skills and improve your relationship with yourself, especially how you relate to your body and mind and the interpretations (judgments) you make about yourself.
You’ll need to learn how to love yourself through the pain.
And this will be painful. And you can do it.
And I’ve done it.
I’ve overcome weed addiction and binge eating.
You can do the same.