- by Jared
Food is always at least partially emotional. The question is – how’s your relationship with food?
Let’s talk about how to change your relationship with food.
I’m going to talk about specifically the steps you need to take to undergo the unconditional eating process.
First you must develop a plan and think things through.
- What food?
- How will you eat this food?
- Where will you eat this food?
- When will you eat this food?
After you have planned out everything for your big day, for this transformative meal, follow these three principles:
- Before – notice what you are feeling before you eat.
2. During – notice how the food tastes like while you eat and when your stomach starts to give you fullness sensations and the pleasure and taste of the food decreases.
3. After – be careful that you truly eat until you are satisfied. After you have eaten to your heart’s content, notice how you feel afterwards.
My Analysis: How To Change Your Relationship With Food
The basic guidance is to pick one food at a time to go through the Unconditional Eating process.
Remember we want to gradually develop our eating skills. That’s why we go one food at a time and we have a step by step system.
This system includes planning out when you will try out Unconditional Eating.
In the beginning you can expect some additional excitement as you finally give yourself guilt-free emotional permission to eat what you actually desire.
Eventually you will start to see the ‘food habituation’ effect. This effect is totally natural. We as humans developed an instinct to eat a variety of foods.
We detest eating the same foods repeatedly.
Essentially you will start to get bored of the foods you integrate with Unconditional Eating.
Perhaps the word bored is not quite right however, rather you’ll begin to experience a dramatic decrease in excitement around foods you previously binged on now that you are giving yourself access to eat these foods.
Now as you feel more and more comfortable around foods that you previously binged on, you can begin to gradually drop the systematizing aspect of Unconditional Eating.
Please note that there are flare-ups: there may be times when you find yourself binge eating again on the foods you have previously gone through the Unconditional Eating process with.
Falling down and picking yourself back up is part of how to change your relationship with food.
It’s important to remember that expecting binge eating to stop immediately is not wise.
We should expect a gradual decreasing of binge eating behaviors. This means you may go days without a binge only to suddenly binge one day on a food you thought you worked through.
This does not mean you have failed or that you are doing something wrong!
Remember our Growth Mindset and the very important questions you are practicing asking yourself like “what events lead up to the binge?” and “what could I do differently next time?”
Remember eating is a skill.
Part of developing a skill is getting feedback. In our case, getting feedback means we learn from our binges. Our binges our are teachers. It sounds crazy. Yet it’s true.
Every binge has something to teach us about ourselves. But what are our binges teaching us?
Remember, take this process one day at a time.
Don’t ruminate or worry about when you’ll get over the foods.
The key is to actually listen to your body, appetite, food preferences and to try to honor your emotional and physical needs as you live each day.
Constantly wondering when you’ll get over a food is counter-productive.
Take it one day at a time. Learn from your binges. Be gentle with yourself.
Keep practicing the skill of connecting to your emotions.
Remember, “what are you feeling right now?” and “what do you need right now?”. These always are and always will be the most important questions.
The more you ask these all-important questions and try to feel and try to meet your emotional, nutritional, and physical needs the more your holistic eating skills will grow.