This video is a guest post from Shan, my friend and virtual assistant. Shan is aspiring to grow his virtual assistant business. He also has a lot of wisdom to share!
For more information about Shan’s virtual assistant business, please visit here – https://shanshawn.com
For more about Shan’s lifestyle and mental wellness tips, please visit here – https://brainpowertrip.com
Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.
— Roy T. Benette
Do you attract happiness?
Quite often people have changed the real definition of happiness in contemporary culture. It sounds like the human mind is more focused on collecting material goods and is wasting real life by not paying attention to what is really important or interesting, doesn’t it?
Before we start, this article doesn’t address clinical depression. If you suspect you are clinically depressed you need to seek out a medical professional.
This is more about unhappiness and how chronic disappointment can lead to depression.
Okay, short disclaimer done now. Let’s talk about our subject, which again is more about general happiness.
I feel like we’re in a consumer culture. This materialistic mentality means that we think the new purchase would make us happier. Sales are going to tell you that you’re lacking so that they can give you the stuff what fills your gap.
This is where it sounds totally wrong to me. True happiness comes from within. Even though you don’t think so, happiness comes from within. Now I’m not speaking that happiness comes inside for everything, but it’s more about personal interests.
Here are five reasons we can become unhappy.
We live in the past and future
Do you live in the past, present or future?
Have you ever asked yourself this question where you are? Have you ever asked this question where you live?
If you ask me this question, I would like to add that we live in the past most of the time. Now, reminiscence in the past is okay. If you have good memories, then enjoy them.
However, if we are ruminating on bad experiences from the past over and over, we are punishing ourselves. We have the choice, but use this power against our own best interests.
When we choose to relive our negative times we are creating a self-inflicted wound over and over.
We’re thinking about the future all the time. A lot of people, including ourselves, are worried about our future, I think. This is true for the future, too.
Now I’m not saying you ought not to think in any way about your past or future. It’s all right to think carefully about the past. And it is also very nice to have positive and healthy thinking about the future.
What’s not all right is a hanging on to past or future memories, like somebody who’s always in nostalgia.
To find true happiness in life, it is very important in life that you first change your thoughts from past or future to present. This means keeping your focus on the present.
I remember Sophocles, Antigone’s very ancient saying that my life was altered and that, if you take it seriously, can also do the same for you. It’s been:
“Tomorrow is tomorrow.
Future cares have future cures,
And we must mind today.”
Comparison with others
When we fall into the trap of comparison we set ourselves up to feel less than someone else. We have a lesser house. We have lesser clothes. We have lesser education. The list can go on and on for all the aspects of our lives.
If you have that inferior complex, you may have noticed that it only reminds us of the things that we lack and the things that others have.
That’s why it’s considered to be one of the most unhealthy habits you can ever have. If you want to overcome this habit, you should first practice gratitude every day.
And in the meantime, you can change your negative thoughts into positive ones. The easiest way to do that is to focus on things that we have instead of being sad about other people’s abilities and things.
It’s very important to understand that everyone else is different, and the standard of living is different all over, so it doesn’t have any significance to cry about what other people have.
So this is a good idea to actually to leave these thoughts behind and start where you compare yourself with other people.
I remember a very old adage of Steve Furtick which is as follows:
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Assuming the worst
This is when we have all gone through a time when we worry how we might fail over and over.
This is a poor practice of creating negative scenarios in our mind.
An example of this is: suppose my friend is late. I’d start to think negatively in my mind that maybe he’s been in a car crash. Maybe he’s being charged with a crime, and so on.
This is an unhealthy habit. The worst case seldom comes, but we punish ourselves with the “what if” much like watching a movie. We put ourselves in the victim’s role and pollute our minds with fears.
All of this negative thinking can be tiring. Better is to consider the positive outcome you want. Life moves on, and if we’re tired of these ideas we should work to have beneficial thoughts instead.
This quotation from Joel Osteen is very appealing:
“Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you’re going to live your life.”
Questioning our feelings
Have you ever been in this condition? Have you ever wondered why you were angry? Why wouldn’t you sleep last night? Why did you laugh so much? And so on.
Let’s be frank about it … We all do this too often. Nearly every time we question our feelings.
What it actually means is that we attempt to overrule our emotions in such a way that can’t succeed. I believe that accepting our basic nature is best.
I am saying that there are things in you that make you who you are and there are things you can adjust and improve your path through life.
Some people are night owls while others are early risers by their basic nature. We don’t need to oppose our basic nature and curse ourselves for it.
Better is to work efficiently on your emotions.
The practice is to manage your thinking about your feelings. Work on the things you want to improve. As you work on this also manage your energy so you don’t overextend your strong points.
Piyush Shrivastav’s very to – the-point aphorism for this is: “What we feel is a choice.”
Pretend to be somebody else
The Internet and social media make it alluring to make yourself look better than is actually true.
We pretend to be that person we see in a photograph. We don’t know all the steps it took to make this ideal look with Photoshop and good lighting.
We begin to mark ourselves below this ideal person and look outside ourselves. This makes the temptation to emulate this ideal person we imagine. The real important things, which are the thoughts and behaviors, are not seen in a picture.
Life is too short, and if we have no time for ourselves, while making time for everyone else, we do this to ourselves. It’s not good or healthy for us.
The concept is to accept you as you are and work to be the best you that you can become.
There’s a very old saying about this from Mark Twain, and that’s as follows:
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
This is very true, indeed.
The conclusion is that we only have one life and only one life. Invest in making this life you have here and now a good one.
I believe in taking action. You can get information from reading articles, but you can’t without taking action.I wish you to have a happy life.
Go ahead and enjoy your life.